A few years ago, I had a great idea for a blog post. It was going to be a post on commitment. My idea was to write about the one thing that matters above all in getting a dog -- commitment. Whether you get a male or female, where you get the dog from, and what breed you choose is all irrelevant when compared to one's commitment level. Shibas are a terrible breed for first time dog owners. And Loki was not an easy first dog. But, we were committed to making it work. We were willing to do whatever it took to integrate Loki into our household. We were willing to do whatever it took to also integrate Jujube into our household. We weren't going to give up, just because the two of them didn't initially get along. And you know what? Our commitment paid off. The two of them are now fine.
But I never did write that blog post. I didn't because I was unsure about the future. What if I wrote such a post, sounding all high and mighty, but then had to sheepishly go back on my word some years later.
And now I'm glad that I never did write such a post. After many tears and great sadness, I admit that for the first time in Loki's life, I've actually considered not keeping him. I bottled up that thought for a few hours last night, as I felt helpless and powerless. I didn't want to say it out loud. If I voiced it, then it would be true. Unfortunately, it is true.
We're not there yet. We're still going to try and make this work. I'm going to call our pet behaviorist and also our vet. We may try some drugs. We may try some more training. We're going to try everything we can.